Лорел Гамильтон

Puzzled, but Loving my Job


I worked all day on “Hit List” the next Anita Blake novel. I had two pages for the whole day of work. I had written, rewritten, thrown out, and finally given up. It was time for the gym. I thought about skipping the gym, but after taking four days off for a wonderful weekend getaway I couldn’t skip exercise again. So, off I went to do my upper body gym day. I really felt the days off, and the serious fall off the good nutrition wagon. I felt stiff, shaky, and puny. I did manage to get a personal best on the barbell chest press: 15/12/10 reps at 35/45/55 pounds respectively. So, I was glad I went and happy with my performance.

A quick shower ended with the discovery that my razor blade had a piece missing out of the metal blade and I suddenly had a piece missing out of my leg. Once I got the blood stopped, and had Jon help me bandage it, dinner was ready. Chica had made stuffed bison flank with brocillini and squash. It was healthy and yummy. Trinity, our daughter, and Meerkat helped us eat the bison. Chica had chicken, she doesn’t do red meat personally, but she’ll cook it for us. For those who’ve asked Meerkat and Chica are our family of choice, they have their own home, but we join forces for many things including dinner most nights.

We watched one Tivo episode of NCIS, then Trinity went to bed. Meerkat and Chica went home. Jon and I finished one last cup of tea and a Tivo episode of tonight’s Criminal Minds. Jon’s invitation for this was, “Tea and serial killers?” My husband is way too much fun sometimes, and sometimes just the right amount. *grin*

When Criminal Minds was done I went to close up my office. I was going to make just a few notes for tomorrow. I turned on music and two hours later I had twelve new pages to add to the two I’d fought all day to squeeze out. Fourteen pages for the day and twelve of them came in two hours after I’d given up for the day and was trying to go to bed. I’m not complaining. I’m thrilled that the muse and I managed to squeak out a productive day, but I am a little puzzled. I usually work better in the morning. I usually work better when the sun is shining. But today all the bright, autumn sunshine and the early morning desk time did me almost no good at all. Tired, wounded, so ready to go to bed and cuddle with Jon, and suddenly the book was alive in my head, and spilling down my fingers onto the keyboard.

The question I ask, is why? Why now? Did my subconscious need this much time to work it all out? Is this book going to start writing better at night? Or was it just tonight? I’ve tried to explain to people that what I do isn’t like most jobs. I can’t sit down at the computer and guarantee the pages will flow. I can’t predict how many pages I’ll have in a day. I work well and steadily, but even I don’t always know why the mood strikes and why it doesn’t. So many of you are beginning writers. You ask me questions about how I do it, as if there is a magic formula and if I would just share it you’d be able to do what I do. But there is no formula, there is no magic right way to do this job, there is just persistence, dogged stubbornness and, yes, magic, but not the kind I can explain. Why did I sit at my desk all day and get only two pages, but come up here tired and sleepy, but have twelve more pages nearly pour out of me? Honestly? I have no idea, it’s just the way it works sometimes, and that is the truth that all writers know. Some days you do everything right and the book just sits there. Some nights you give up and the muse knocks you over the head with so much inspiration you can’t go to bed.

I ended today’s writing with Edward getting out some very big artillery. Tomorrow we get to blow things up, on paper. I’m not a sociopathic, weapons loving, assassin, I just play one on paper. Tomorrow Anita gets to see Edward use a weapon we haven’t even hinted at in the books. Nice way to end the work day for me, and an even more fun way to begin the work day tomorrow